(Image via snorgtees, you can buy it on a tee!)
There was a time when, at social gathering of some sort, if I ended up in a conversation with the “Oh I just ran a marathon, published a book and created a charity that gives scholarships to orphans,” person who also has three children and flawless skin…I would maybe want to throw my martini on her, run to the bar to drink seven more, then rush home and bury my insecurities in whatever Oprah recommended book I was reading at the moment.
That was then. Now, when I am face to face with Wonder Woman/Mrs. America, I am genuinely happy for her success. What happened? Authentic self-confidence happened…self-confidence meaning a fierce combination of self-love, knowing that you’re good enough and believing in yourself.
If you are ever feeling less than the BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, POWERFUL GODDESS that you are, here are some things I remind myself of in order to get back to awesome land…
1. Be aware of your gifts and use them.
This is tricky because some of us claim we don’t know what our gifts are. Trust yourself, you know. One always knows, but sometimes we are afraid of our gifts, beause giving your gifts to the world involves risk. Have you ever done something that lit up your soul, that gave you endless energy and inspired pleasant daydreams? That thing is your gift, what you are designed to do. When you are in a career that utilizes your gifts, it’s going to be enjoyable and you are going to be good at it, which will give you self-confidence.
2. Avoid comparison.
Piggy backing on “being aware of your gifts,” we all have different fingerprints for a reason. Not a SINGLE successful person would be where they are if they constantly compared themselves to others. When you are fully YOU, you can move mountains while tap dancing and knitting a sweater. As long as you are doing something you love and you feel good about it, who cares what someone else has, its none of your business. In the words of Jen Sincero, “Can you imagine a world where Marilyn Monroe compared herself to Kate Moss and decided she needed to lose her curves?”
3. Accept compliments.
When someone compliments us, why do we hurl away as if they are offering us a piece of cigarette, slug pie? When you accept and affirm a compliment (internally of course) your subconscious mind remembers it. It’s like making a deposit into the “I’m Awesome” bank, each deposit building upon the other, mounting in increased self-confidence. So the next time someone says, “You have a nice smile!” instead of responding with, “Me? Are you kidding, it’s all snaggletooth central here,” OWN IT, AFFIRM IT, CELEBRATE IT, then give the person a simple, “Thank you.”
4. Edit your thoughts.
Tell the asshole committee in your head to shut up and sit down! When a negative thought pops up, immediately acknowledge it, tell yourself it’s not true, and replace it with a more positive thought. I recently started running again after an injury. It was a slow start. After a a run one day I noticed myself start to tell myself, “Wow, you suck, that was terrible, an infant could run farther.” I immediately recognized this asshole committee speech and replaced it with “I am just beginning, I will get better, kudos for getting out there today and giving it a go!” These encouraging thoughts will become a habit.
This one is a no brainer. Have you ever worked out and not felt like a badass? Exercise gives you a sense of accomplishment, it deepens your belief in yourself and your abilities. You look good, you feel good, you are proving you love yourself by taking care of yourself and are overall empowered.
*Resources to help you remember that you are a BADASS GODDESS